Showing posts with label Really. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Really. Show all posts

Monday, July 18, 2011

Why Wait For Someone Else To Create Really Funny Jokes?


Let's face it, we all love a laugh. We need funny events, funny jokes, comedy shows, cartoons, or even just listening to someone with an infectious laugh, because when we laugh it's nature's drug free high. We feel good about life, just for those moments.

Thousands of people trawl the Net each day in search of the latest jokes. There is a definite sense of one-upmanship if you can tell a joke the other person has yet to hear. Better still if you can regularly do it. Just think about the thousands of emails circulating workplaces with jokes, funny pictures, or daft video attached.

The sad thing about this activity is that we are all relying on someone out there to come up with, or who can point us in the direction of, these daily funnies. It never occurs to us that maybe we could come up with a joke ourselves. To create a joke that no-one has heard before, and start it on a world wide internet adventure is an exhilarating feeling, but too much like hard work for most. They'd rather spend time posting the same tired old gags on internet joke forums, or trawling joke sites in the vain hope of spotting something new.

Yet jokes don't just materialise out of digital nowhere. Someone somewhere has created them. Admittedly a lot are taken from routines of well known comedians, albeit in most cases without due credit, or lifted from comedy shows, but a significant amount are created by ordinary folk who had a lightbulb moment.

We can all do it if we take the time. We often say funny or amusing things that we immediately forget about, or something will happen during the day that raises a smile, or, better still, forces a laugh. Imagine being able to recall all those wonderful moments and write them down. What a wealth of material. You could undoubtedly write your own comedy series.

If you're not blessed with total recall then play around with words. The English language is fertile ground when it comes to growing your own jokes. Puns and double-entendres abound. Give yourself half an hour, arm yourself with a dictionary, and flick through, picking pages at random. Look for words with more than one meaning. Bar is a classic example.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch!

When you're looking at definitions, make a note too of common terms and phrases associated with that word. Use a well known phrase as your punchline and work backwards. The more you train yourself to look for amusing connections, the easier it becomes to create funny lines. Given a few practice runs there's no reason why your creation shouldn't be the latest hot joke doing the Internet rounds.

I'll leave you with a joke I created a while ago, but which came about when I was playing cards. The two key words here are hand and trump. I came up with the punchline first and then filled in the rest.

A Doctor is not surprised to see the name of a particular patient on his list. The elderly gent in question has recently had heart surgery and treatment for painful arthritis in his hand. However, there is another reason for his visit.

"It`s very embarrassing, Doctor. But I keep breaking wind in company. I was at the golf club Thursday and couldn`t stop myself. On Friday it was all quiet in the chess club until I let one go. Same thing has happened at the Dancing Club, the Social Club and the Gardeners Club. I can`t seem to stop blowing off."

"Alright" says the Doctor, "Let`s check a couple of things. Are you wearing any gold or precious stones?"

The old man is somewhat puzzled but says, "Good Lord, no. Never been into wearing anything like that."

"And are you still digging vegetables on your allotment?"

"No. The wife was concerned it was too much for me, so she put my shovels away in the loft where I can`t get at them."

"Mmmm" says the Doctor, "I think I see your problem. High spades, a dodgy heart, too many clubs and no diamonds. With a hand like yours you`re bound to trump!"




Graham Parry, is editor of The Bramfieldian, presenting up to the minute spoof news from the Suffolk village of Bramfield.





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Saturday, July 9, 2011

Seven Tips To Telling Better Jokes (From a Comedian Who Really Knows!)


To be honest, I think that most presenters should avoid telling

jokes. But on the other hand, telling jokes around the

water cooler or on the porch while sippin' lemonade is

a time-honored tradition. If it was good enough for

Gramps, why ain't it good enough for us? But if you

are going to tell jokes, you should do it right.

1. Make sure you actually know the joke. Practice

it! Tell it to your kids, your spouse, and your dog.

Trust me, you want to tell the joke a few times

before you do it for real. Nothing will make you

look like a bigger idiot than telling a joke wrong.

2. Scan the internet for jokes to AVOID. Don't

tell jokes that everybody has heard... if your

joke is all over the internet, then this is a great

joke to AVOID.

3. Shorter jokes are better. I know, I know. You think

you're a great story teller. But trust me, your audience

will appreciate you for NOT adding all of the colorful

details and fluff. Just tell the joke. Shorten it if you can.

4. The punch line comes last. And I mean last!

Nothing should come after the punch-line. Consider

this joke done well.

Why Did the chicken cross the road? To get to the

other side.

Now, the same joke when the punch-line is not last.

This is much worse. (I know, that joke is pretty bad on

it's own, but... you get the idea.)

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other

side of the road which was on a long block because he

wanted to get to his chicken coop.

See? Punch-lines should be last. Period. NOTHING

comes after the punch. (Except for your silence and their laughter.)

5. Keep it clean. And I mean crystal clean. If you wouldn't

tell it to the Queen of England (who probably doesn't like

jokes much anyway) then leave it out. Seriously. If you

have any doubt whether you are "crossing the line," then

don't tell it. Think of it this way: if you tell a joke to 10 people

and 9 of them laugh, then you've still alienated a friend. Don't do it.

6. If you are telling a joke as part of a presentation,

don't take credit for the joke. You can do that before

the joke with something like, "Here's one I read on

the internet." Or after the joke with something like,

"That old joke was on the internet, but it reminds us

to.... (follow with a point.)" If you don't let people know

that his joke is from the internet, you risk looking like a

fool. I guarantee that at least a couple of people in every

audience already know your joke, and if you want to earn

and keep THEIR respect you need to make sure you don't (tacitly) claim that joke to be yours.

7. Don't steal jokes from stand up comics. Unless they are

dead. Jokes are material, and it is how they earn a living.

If you tell it, copy it, email it.... whatever... you devalue the

joke for them. Besides, it's bad karma. :)




Brad Montgomery CSP is hilarious motivational speaker and corporate comedian who reminds his audiences to take themselves less seriously in his laugh-out-loud keynote presentations. He is an also the author of three books and a humor-in-the-workplace consultant. Get a free audio recording at http://www.HumorJumpStart.com



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